1 00:00:25,791 --> 00:00:29,826 Good evening, and welcome to Alfred Hitchcock Presents, 2 00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:33,027 the feature is about to commence, 3 00:00:33,218 --> 00:00:36,343 please don't be alarmed we are not charging admission, 4 00:00:36,534 --> 00:00:38,674 this is not pay TV, 5 00:00:38,879 --> 00:00:41,414 as usual, all we ask is that on those, 6 00:00:41,605 --> 00:00:44,141 occasions when you can't view our show, 7 00:00:44,684 --> 00:00:48,366 that you let us know so that we can send it to someone else, 8 00:00:48,557 --> 00:00:50,750 please don't be a no show. 9 00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:55,246 This is not a hold up, 10 00:00:55,804 --> 00:00:59,208 I wish to dramatize the title of tonight's play, 11 00:01:00,452 --> 00:01:03,991 tonight's story is called: Bang! Your Dead, 12 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:08,204 despite the fact it has been introduced with my usual flippancy, 13 00:01:08,395 --> 00:01:11,018 it concerns a very serious subject, 14 00:01:11,209 --> 00:01:15,215 and I would be doing it a disservice if I led you to regard it lightly, 15 00:01:15,406 --> 00:01:17,635 now I must hurry into the theater, 16 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,506 I don't want to miss the beginning, 17 00:01:19,697 --> 00:01:23,786 fortunately I have a minute to find my seat before the feature starts, 18 00:01:23,977 --> 00:01:27,913 for it is preceded by an unselected short subject, 19 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,041 it's the management's way, 20 00:01:30,254 --> 00:01:34,592 of discouraging those who might stay through more than one show. 21 00:01:44,585 --> 00:01:47,762 BANG! YOU'RE DEAD 22 00:02:06,916 --> 00:02:09,843 -Where'd you get it? -Birthday. 23 00:02:11,049 --> 00:02:14,414 -How many bullets you got? -A box full. 24 00:02:15,422 --> 00:02:16,474 There... 25 00:02:25,438 --> 00:02:29,567 -What a cheesy gun. -Can I try yours? -Nah... 26 00:02:29,854 --> 00:02:31,958 -Please... -No, go on home. 27 00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:35,572 Can't I get in the war too Stevie? 28 00:02:35,763 --> 00:02:40,031 This is our war I told you, go on home halftime. 29 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:08,979 -Hi. -Hi. -Jackie, here's your uncle Rick home from the wards. 30 00:03:09,074 --> 00:03:11,719 I’d know him if I met him in the jungle,how are you Jackie? 31 00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:14,835 -you got your own war on? -They dont wanted me in their war. 32 00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,288 Oh they won't huh? 33 00:03:23,209 --> 00:03:26,221 Jackie, uncle rick was in Africa yesterday, 34 00:03:26,752 --> 00:03:29,495 -wonderful gadget the airplane. -Rick... 35 00:03:48,939 --> 00:03:51,360 -You made it. -Sure did sis. 36 00:03:52,991 --> 00:03:54,781 Hey, what's going on here? 37 00:03:54,877 --> 00:03:58,299 You think you're the only one that had trouble with the natives? Oh brother... 38 00:03:58,469 --> 00:03:59,597 What on earth is that? 39 00:03:59,693 --> 00:04:01,671 Well that is what the well-dressed witch doctor, 40 00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:04,317 is wearing it's a little something I picked up for you, Johny. 41 00:04:04,337 --> 00:04:05,548 You're home for good really? 42 00:04:05,644 --> 00:04:09,068 Well it's a little tough to do business in a country that's blowing sky high. 43 00:04:09,163 --> 00:04:10,657 -Rick... -Oh thanks. 44 00:04:11,594 --> 00:04:13,825 Ah peace it's wonderful, 45 00:04:14,350 --> 00:04:18,794 now that little item was all that was left, just one incident, 46 00:04:18,985 --> 00:04:22,600 -you might say that it uh, had its bug pass. -Pass, uh? 47 00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:25,625 Well there's no place for an innocent... I’ll tell you, 48 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,896 that going to sleep every night with a gun under your pillow, 49 00:04:28,987 --> 00:04:31,302 it leads to a certain amount of insomnia. 50 00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:34,906 -Well, better days... -And nights. 51 00:04:35,097 --> 00:04:38,803 Where is that Cleo? nobody's even started the canapes. 52 00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,885 But she'll be here honey. 53 00:04:41,470 --> 00:04:43,512 Oh I didn't do it, now partner. 54 00:04:44,316 --> 00:04:47,165 Show Rick is room Fred. I’d better call, 55 00:04:47,261 --> 00:04:50,242 oh Rick, if you could have stayed on, we wouldn't have rushed you into a party. 56 00:04:50,337 --> 00:04:52,947 Maybe you can make friends and influence people. 57 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:56,712 Well I’ve got a couple of connections up North but I can be bought. 58 00:04:56,903 --> 00:05:00,082 -All right, where am I? -I’ll show you uncle Rick. 59 00:05:00,273 --> 00:05:01,739 Lead on Wild Bill. 60 00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:10,272 That thing gives me the old-fashioned Willie. 61 00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:14,022 I must say I don't care for it next to the olives, 62 00:05:14,277 --> 00:05:16,142 conversation piece. 63 00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:18,426 Bloodbath. 64 00:05:25,147 --> 00:05:27,700 -Have a transfusion. -No answer, 65 00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:30,890 I should have told Cleo to come at a regular time, 66 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,745 but it's not her regular day. 67 00:05:34,254 --> 00:05:39,021 Nope, I never did meet Tarzan I guess he must live in another part of Africa. 68 00:05:41,985 --> 00:05:44,880 -Okay forke over. -Okay 69 00:05:50,863 --> 00:05:53,294 -There you go. -Gee thanks uncle Rick. 70 00:05:53,881 --> 00:05:54,934 You're welcome Jackie, 71 00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:59,520 say I’ve got a surprise for you that'll really knock your eye out for, 72 00:05:59,712 --> 00:06:01,442 you just wait left to the party. 73 00:06:01,538 --> 00:06:02,663 Can't I have it now? 74 00:06:02,854 --> 00:06:04,028 Nope. 75 00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:06,302 How's it going? 76 00:06:06,494 --> 00:06:09,862 -Okay between shakedowns. -Take, drink it while it's hot. -Thanks. 77 00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:14,387 We've got to cheer Amy up she thinks the mage falling down a man holds up place. 78 00:06:14,578 --> 00:06:16,740 Daddy, uncle Rick’s got a surprise for me. 79 00:06:16,931 --> 00:06:19,564 Well it's a fine decent good-hearted uncle that's what he is, 80 00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,733 why don't you unpack for? 81 00:06:22,224 --> 00:06:24,954 -after you. -I'll right back Jackie. 82 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,921 Well I guess it's as good as way as any to work up the people, 83 00:08:25,016 --> 00:08:27,107 I tell you if you could just see it or hear it you'd, 84 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:30,366 wish you were six years old again shooting honest engines, 85 00:08:30,557 --> 00:08:32,269 this is probably a museum piece. 86 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:34,939 No offense but it probably ought to be in a museum. 87 00:08:35,035 --> 00:08:38,623 How could you left an hour ago and still not be here it only takes for 25 minutes. 88 00:08:39,716 --> 00:08:42,859 -Hand swap. -Pf course I know how the buses are, 89 00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:46,459 I just can't help being upset I’ve got guests arriving in an hour, 90 00:08:46,555 --> 00:08:47,660 don't bother me honey, 91 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,230 yes I know Jackie, please, 92 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:56,383 well let's just hope Cleo arrives soon, 93 00:08:56,711 --> 00:08:58,206 thank you so much, goodbye. 94 00:09:01,413 --> 00:09:05,283 -No luck? -She left an hour ago, it's my fault I should have picked her up. 95 00:09:05,475 --> 00:09:08,343 But don't fret honey, I have limitless confidence in Cleo. 96 00:09:08,439 --> 00:09:12,012 -Honey... -What? -I have a strange feeling something's wrong. 97 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:14,987 -Intuition. -I don't know, I hope nothing's happened to her. 98 00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:18,277 -Jackie... -Run along honey, go out and play. 99 00:09:18,469 --> 00:09:21,983 Yeah why don't you go outside see if you can bring down a real-life mate, huh? 100 00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,855 Thanks to the surprise uncle Rick. 101 00:09:24,046 --> 00:09:25,060 Surprise? 102 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,806 He thanks me in advance Josie has a very trusting spirit. 103 00:09:27,998 --> 00:09:30,909 I brought him one of these uh massage feather hats, 104 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,615 -still out in the car isn't it? -well you know I want to get in the whole picture. 105 00:09:34,711 --> 00:09:36,799 you know old story type telling uncle. 106 00:09:36,991 --> 00:09:41,202 If you get him off of this western kick, I’ll be glad for a change. 107 00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,838 Stick them up! 108 00:09:48,029 --> 00:09:50,845 -put them up. -Now just a minute Billy the Kid. 109 00:09:51,036 --> 00:09:53,433 I’m not a rebel soldier, I’m the united states mail, 110 00:09:53,624 --> 00:09:56,101 and it's against the law to shoot me. 111 00:09:56,317 --> 00:09:59,489 -what you want? -Nothing I’m just practicing. 112 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:03,626 Tell you a secret, the real big stuff's down at the post office, 113 00:10:03,817 --> 00:10:07,604 registered mail, jewelry, gold, watches, money. 114 00:10:07,699 --> 00:10:10,759 Money, I got a lot of money, see? 115 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:14,350 Uncle Rick gave it to me I’m going to the store. 116 00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:18,392 Great, run along now and buy yourself a 20 cent belly, 117 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,594 I gotta crank up the stage and get, 118 00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,902 going before the engines get me, okay? 119 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,340 -Sure, bye mailman. -Bye Jackie. 120 00:11:10,176 --> 00:11:13,144 I thought I’d give Amy a sneak preview, does this... 121 00:11:14,672 --> 00:11:15,724 something wrong? 122 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,397 Yeah... 123 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,996 -Hey you gotta feed it. -What? 124 00:11:47,091 --> 00:11:51,057 Dimes in the slot there, fight him cowboy. 125 00:12:26,177 --> 00:12:29,276 You're sure he isn't playing in your backyard Judith? 126 00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:32,491 all right, no no I’ve called the Davidson’s, 127 00:12:32,682 --> 00:12:37,064 of course something's wrong, he's got his uncle's revolver with live ammunition, 128 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,926 he thinks it's a toy. 129 00:12:48,373 --> 00:12:50,169 Did you look at the gun he had? 130 00:12:50,265 --> 00:12:53,470 I told you mr Chester, it's a cap gun, he wanted to get in, 131 00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:56,675 our war and I wouldn't let him I told him to go home. 132 00:12:56,771 --> 00:12:58,680 Then you didn't see him when he came out again? 133 00:12:58,776 --> 00:13:00,206 No sir, I was over Gary... 134 00:13:00,302 --> 00:13:03,509 I called everybody I could think of no one's seen him since lunch. 135 00:13:03,604 --> 00:13:06,569 That settles it we call the police right now. 136 00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:08,894 I’m gonna go call the police. 137 00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:13,460 The mailman said he saw him heading for the supermarket climb in, hurry. 138 00:13:49,373 --> 00:13:51,803 Honey, the horsey's got a customer, can't you see? 139 00:13:51,994 --> 00:13:55,391 now come on now, don't give daddy a bad time come on. 140 00:13:56,414 --> 00:14:00,671 How about it friend, give us a fast ride just once around the corral? 141 00:14:00,863 --> 00:14:03,906 -I got here first. -I know I know but give us a break, huh? 142 00:14:04,097 --> 00:14:07,014 you know how women are and this one's murder. 143 00:14:07,206 --> 00:14:10,497 -I got here first. -I want to ride the horsey. 144 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,026 Yeah, well here, look pal, 145 00:14:13,345 --> 00:14:16,738 -there, will that make a ride? -I got here first. 146 00:14:17,734 --> 00:14:18,872 Daddy... 147 00:14:19,846 --> 00:14:20,898 Come here. 148 00:14:21,090 --> 00:14:25,892 -Hey that's my horse. -I know I know and I’ll put you right back on him in just a minute. 149 00:14:26,084 --> 00:14:30,674 -Horse thief. -Yeah well don't be too hard on the sheriff. 150 00:14:31,009 --> 00:14:32,968 Here you go Darlene, down. 151 00:15:03,919 --> 00:15:08,074 Okay, run along kids, go to the public library. 152 00:15:11,497 --> 00:15:13,603 Keep that on this job, uh? 153 00:15:15,324 --> 00:15:16,826 see you on television, 154 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:21,016 -George Webster on register 7 please. -Coming. 155 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:26,100 I know how busy you are, but I’m just beat down to a nub, we should have got, 156 00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:29,766 this done last week, but we just let it go and let it go you know the way... 157 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:33,585 -What can I do for you? -Oh she's looking for cartons, big cartons. 158 00:15:33,777 --> 00:15:35,484 All the cartons we got are back. 159 00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:38,381 Oh I saw those, they won't do, but you do have some in the back room that, 160 00:15:38,477 --> 00:15:41,299 are just perfect except they're full of dog food or something... 161 00:15:41,395 --> 00:15:43,605 -Excuse me please, have you seen... -Just a minute, please. 162 00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:46,935 this is a true, you see we're all making puppets for the camp craft... 163 00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:49,220 -I'm sorry but this is important... -So was this. 164 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,484 I said just a minute lady. 165 00:15:50,579 --> 00:15:52,951 Therefore puppet theaters we cut out the front... 166 00:15:53,047 --> 00:15:54,833 I’ve got to find my little boy. 167 00:15:55,236 --> 00:15:59,328 Check with the manager please, at the desk number six. 168 00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:05,255 -Excuse me... 169 00:16:05,446 --> 00:16:08,747 -Just a minute please. -Can I have your driver's license please. 170 00:16:13,524 --> 00:16:15,924 All right I’ll take you to the cashier on number three. 171 00:16:16,115 --> 00:16:18,248 -Yes ma'am. -Would you please make an announcement, 172 00:16:18,439 --> 00:16:21,614 my little boy is around here someplace with a... 173 00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,488 Jonathan, yeah, 174 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:24,910 how many cases? 175 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,445 -Hands up. -Oh come now, you wouldn't shoot a girl wouldn't you? 176 00:17:11,636 --> 00:17:13,370 Sure I would, watch. 177 00:17:14,814 --> 00:17:15,867 How that? 178 00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,009 More? 179 00:17:19,464 --> 00:17:22,086 that's why your outlaws are so mean, you're always hungry, 180 00:17:22,182 --> 00:17:24,861 never saw an outlaw shoot anybody on a full stomach, 181 00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:28,115 now you tell your mommy we have six different kinds of jiffy snacks, 182 00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:30,769 all she has to do is open the can, okay? 183 00:17:30,961 --> 00:17:32,183 what's your name? 184 00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,609 -Jackie. -Bye Jackie. -Bye. 185 00:17:37,912 --> 00:17:41,069 Please, please this is an emergency I want you to make an announcement. 186 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,274 You want to ride this pony, you take your turn. 187 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:49,634 Your attention please, we have a missing boy named... 188 00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:57,420 ...five years old, wearing a straw cowboy hat, 189 00:17:57,516 --> 00:18:00,278 his mother is waiting here at the desk on aisle six, 190 00:18:00,374 --> 00:18:04,833 Jackie Chester, five years old please send him to the desk on aisle six. 191 00:18:05,024 --> 00:18:07,495 I just saw him down there. 192 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,378 He was sitting right there loading his gun. 193 00:18:15,492 --> 00:18:17,959 -that's a real bullet. -Yes, it is. 194 00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:27,705 -Jackie, Jackie this is mother... -Somebody just saw him out in the parking lot. 195 00:18:33,081 --> 00:18:34,133 Jackie... 196 00:18:35,251 --> 00:18:38,447 -Any luck? -He's out here somewhere, somebody just saw him. 197 00:18:39,447 --> 00:18:40,499 Come on. 198 00:18:42,356 --> 00:18:44,039 Did you hear that? 199 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:45,609 over there. 200 00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:46,853 Jackie... 201 00:19:30,268 --> 00:19:32,896 Who's that? -Me. 202 00:19:33,087 --> 00:19:34,577 Where's everybody honey? 203 00:19:34,768 --> 00:19:35,820 I don't know. 204 00:19:39,618 --> 00:19:41,109 Stick them up Cleo. 205 00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:42,744 I got no time to play games sweetie pie, 206 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,610 your mother's probably fit to be tied. 207 00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:48,636 Uncle Rick gave me this you can put bullets in it, just like real. 208 00:19:48,966 --> 00:19:50,825 Did he tell you all about Africa? 209 00:19:51,311 --> 00:19:54,380 -Tarzan doesn't live there. -He moved? -I don't know. 210 00:19:55,449 --> 00:19:58,237 He probably got himself all crippled up swinging all the, 211 00:19:58,428 --> 00:20:01,833 trees the way he does found himself a nice quad cave. 212 00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:05,172 -Nobody will play war with me. -I’ll play with you tomorrow. 213 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,831 -Stick them up Cleo. -You put that down Jacky, 214 00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:11,600 I told you I can't play now. 215 00:20:11,604 --> 00:20:14,772 -Make me. -Why you little rascallion, huh. 216 00:20:16,177 --> 00:20:20,244 if I get my hands on you Jackie I bet I’ll... 217 00:20:31,881 --> 00:20:35,001 -I ought to have my head examined. -That won't help us now. 218 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,658 I don't know what happened my mind just went blank or something, 219 00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:40,002 if anyone gets hurt is Jackie. 220 00:20:40,194 --> 00:20:43,674 Sitting here crucifying ourselves is not gonna solve anything, 221 00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:46,056 let's go call the police. 222 00:20:46,516 --> 00:20:47,758 Stick them up Cleo. 223 00:20:48,399 --> 00:20:50,647 Okay, you go ahead and shoot me. 224 00:20:51,412 --> 00:20:53,760 -You tell mom? -Sure I’ll tell her. 225 00:20:53,951 --> 00:20:56,430 I’ll tell how you tormented me with a cowboy gun, 226 00:20:56,526 --> 00:20:58,477 and wouldn't mind me for some apple. 227 00:20:58,669 --> 00:21:02,405 -that's what I’ll tell. -I'll shoot you Cleo, I’ll shoot you, 228 00:21:03,184 --> 00:21:06,787 It's all right, I made my peace so almighty, 229 00:21:07,790 --> 00:21:09,752 go on, blaze away, 230 00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:19,802 -Cleo... -It's a real gun... 231 00:21:22,973 --> 00:21:24,381 Mommy, mommy. 232 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,261 After an experience like that, 233 00:21:43,453 --> 00:21:45,395 you need something to break the spell, 234 00:21:45,586 --> 00:21:47,419 and I have just the thing, 235 00:21:47,759 --> 00:21:50,236 I shall rejoin you in a moment. 236 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:54,709 On rare occasions we have stories on this program, 237 00:21:54,805 --> 00:21:57,030 which do not lend themselves to levity, 238 00:21:57,849 --> 00:22:00,333 Bang! You're Dead, is the case in point, 239 00:22:00,583 --> 00:22:04,555 we only hope that this play has dramatized for parents, 240 00:22:04,746 --> 00:22:09,842 the importance of keeping firearms and ammunition out of reach of children, 241 00:22:10,033 --> 00:22:13,716 accidents of this type occur far too frequently nowadays, 242 00:22:13,908 --> 00:22:18,801 and the tragic fact is that with proper precaution they could be avoided, 243 00:22:18,993 --> 00:22:20,449 that is all for tonight, 244 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,508 please join us next week, when we shall return, 245 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:26,808 with another story, until then good night.